Corlia Erwee, Registered Counsellor & Mediator at Aquila
I believe that people can overcome difficult circumstances. We never, ever have to stay where we are. My life story is a testimony of restoration and healing. Sometimes we just need someone to come alongside of us to help us see the open doors and realise that our mountains are not that big. I also believe in a systemic approach. We are made up of our past and our present, we are body soul and spirit and we find ourselves in living breathing systems – families, marriages, friendship circles and workplaces. All of these influence our thinking and our believing. This is where a second pair of eyes – that of the counselor – can be so helpful. Counseling is not fixing. Counseling is helping a client dig deep into their own set of resources to find their own solutions.
When one parent starts to criticize, dismiss, and eliminate anything good from the other parent, they indirectly dismiss the part of the child that identifies with the other parent too.
When it comes to divorce, each child will respond differently and their fears, concerns, and questions will be different depending on their stage of development, personality, and attachment style.
All of these elements have to be considered when dealing with families in crisis. Understanding their behaviour, will help the mediation process and planning. It will also ensure that the voice of the child is understood within this context.